Friday, September 25, 2009


Tonight I've been sorting through men who I'm sure do not even know I'm here. But e-harmony sends them to my mailbox so something must be done with the ever growing list. I've just done some pretty fast culling, eliminating anyone who:
1) has a primary interest in fast cars or sports, either participating or watching
2) looks more fit than my kids
3) has lots of mis-spellings in their profile
4) answers more than two questions with an emphasis on wanting or loving women
5) lists drinking alcohol as a primary activity
6) didn't bother to answer most of the questions
7) lives entirely too far away (because I didn't assign enough import to distance)
8) holds no attraction for me

One of the men in my mailbox today pulled a big sigh out of me, just by looking so darned cute. And I'd have closed that match if only I could have sent a little message. I'd have said: "I'm quite sure we're not a match but that is the most charming, unaffected, endearing portrait I've ever seen of a man. You must be a great guy." But you can't send a little message! How wrong is that? You can only send questions you select from an e-harmony list and I imagine that fellow would have looked at my photo and thought "This gal's a little heavy for me, I'll just close this match now." So he'd never get to know how knocked out this fairly discerning woman is by his photo. And shouldn't we all get to know those things whenever possible at this stage of life?

Finally, I left one obvious mis-match with a 79 year old open (apparently I also need to assign more importance to the age-range I selected). Why didn't I close this match? I believe it would be lovely to meet this man. He says he was a broadcaster, influenced by Edward R. Murrow and actually met Murrow a few times. Better still, he says that when he's 85 he'd rather be hiking on Mt. Rainier than sitting around an old folks home. He's looking ahead to being 85. Six years older than he is now. And he's looking at that like it's a ways off. Here's a man who, I believe, is living every minute of his life with intention and joy. I have a feeling this man sparkles with energy and that a room is enlivened when he's in it.

My mailbox full of men is really very interesting. Note: not one has contacted me. So: Am I dull? Too girly? Too high maintenance? Too talkative? Too serious? I'm not worried about it. I am who I am. Just as the men in my mailbox are. Life is good.

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